J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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Garfunkel, Art
Two things, Artie, if you’re reading this.
1) Find a good barber.

2) Lay off the weed.

Gender
From Chico Instrument Encyclopedia:

An important part of the Indonesian gamelan ensemble, the gender looks something like a xylophone. It usually has twelve or fourteen thin brass “keys” suspended over tube shaped resonators. Because these resonators have different lengths and therefore tunings, you hear different pitches sounding when the keys are stuck with padded mallets. These resonators used to be made from bamboo, which did not prove to be very long-lasting. Now they are exclusively made out of zinc which may be painted a bamboo color.

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J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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FLEETWOOD MAC
There have been many changes to the Fleetwood Mac lineup. The drummer Mick Fleetwood (he’s the Fleetwood in Fleetwood Mac) and the bassist John McVie (he’s the Mac in Fleetwood Mac) have been the constants, which, of course, is quite handy in that the name of the group, as I’ve mentioned, is Fleetwood Mac. Other names the band could have chosen during its various personnel changes – Spencer Brunning, Fleetwood Green, Kirwan Spencer, McVie McVie, Welsh Fleetwood, Walker Weston Welsh, Buckingham McVie McVie, Vito Nicks, Bramlett Burnett, Fleetwood Nicks. I could go on but I won’t. I will, however, say something about Stevie Nicks. She’s a terrible singer! Come on! It sounds like her voice box was thrown in a wood chipper.

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J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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Rumsfeld and the Kyrgyz leader absolutely adore the letter ”E”

”E EATS EVERYTHING,” by THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
I have a 3-year-old girl. It’s challenging to find music that we can both agree on. She likes Beck, though, so that’s cool. However, it hasn’t taken her too long, upon hearing “Motherfuker” on his Mellow Gold album, to start questioning the lyrics of said song. That’s problematic. That’s why we listen to They Might Be Giants together. They’re creating kids albums these days and even if you don’t have a tot the albums are worth checking out. “E Eats Everything” is on their Here Comes the ABC’s album. No! is an even better album. There’s a song on it about a belligerent broom. And, as a plus, there’s no reference to mother fucking. I’m a good parent.

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J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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Davis, Miles
The best trumpet player, ever. That’s not in question. Kind of Blue? Perfection. Bitches Brew? Astounding. Birth of the Cool, Porgy and Bess, Sketches of Spain? Amazing. He worked with the greats – Charlie Parker, Cannonball Adderly, J.J. Johnson, Dizzie Gillespie, John Coletrane. He’s the greatest, Miles is. I wouldn’t have told him that though. He would have said, “Shut the fuck up, cracker,” and smashed a bottle on my head.

Deadboy and the Elephantmen
Wow, what a weird collection of musicians. For one thing, the leader of the group is dead (Deadboy)! And who knew that people with elephantiasis could carry a tune so well! Listen to their album, We Are the Night Sky, and be mesmerized by the fact that the musicians are either dead or inflicted with a disease that causes a thickening of the skin and underlying tissues, especially in the legs and genitals.

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J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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 “CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD,” by Kylie Minogue

You’re right, Kylie, I can’t get that horrific song of yours out of my head. “Won’t you stay/Won’t you lay/Stay forever and ever and ever/La la la/La la la la la.” The song is atrocious and I’m at wit’s end. I write this in my car, in the garage, engine running, garage door closed. Farewell, cruel world.

CONCH SHELLS

They sound terrible when played but who cares, you’re playing a conch shell! How often can you play a sea-dwelling mollusk anyway? It’s a crude bugle – it’s a marine gastropod! It’s in the 1939 symphony “La Noche de Los Mayas” – it’s in the sea grass in warm tropical waters!

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William Cremin Presents: “That’s What’s Up in 2006”

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William Cremin really loves Raisinets. Maybe he’ll marry them in 2007.

1. Midlake – The Trials of Van Occupanther
My year-end top ten is not based on what I think is the best as much
as it is a list of my personal favorite records. This one was the most
important to me by far. I really love the quaintness of the lyrics,
and the songwriting blows me away on every listen.

2. The Pipettes – We Are The Pipettes
This is one of those albums where it’s physically impossible to be
surly while in its presence. I found myself reaching for it in a
similar way that I go after Raisinets: frequently and with reckless
abandon.

3. My Brightest Diamond – Bring Me The Workhorse
I saw her play with Sufjan Stevens, and I was instantly smitten. Her
moodiness and staggering proficiency sort of remind me of Jeff
Buckley.

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