Yo! Dis the da straight up off the heezie fo sheezie number one DJ sensation in all da funky Nordic lands, the one and only big cheddar making, ice rakin', bootie shakin', stank tastin' badass muthafuckin' Norwegian pimp, representin' Oslo and the entire Nordic nation, ya'll betta know dat.

Damn I be tired n shit after all that. Yo, Let me clear my throat, yo. Ahem. Awww yeah, y'all betta know dat I'm back on the muthafuckin' scene once again, rockin' all the true hip hop hedz across the world with trademark steelo, yo. Damn I'm smooth.

Yo some fools think they bad by tryin' to tell me what's up with the state of hip hop in the double 0's. And yo some folks be takin' me to task for what I said about Eminem at my last gig in oZlo, when I said: Yo, straight up, the kid can rhyme n shit but a white boy's got no business in the rap game, yo. He may make the big cheese, but he's still just a cracka with somethin' to prove to da true heads such as myself, who keep it real 24-7 and know that big $ales and some pop rappin' and pop lockin' don't make the man, especially if he all white n shit like Marshall Mathers.

So yo some peeps of mine suggested I need like some sensitivity training or some shit. Like they be sayin' I be stressin' a man's skin color too hard, that I be a little 'too black' n shit. Now ya'll know that shit is straight up bullish, but yo, sometimes you gots to be sensitive n shit. So for this month's review I picked out some white boys from Long Beach (home of my homie Snoop) called Ugly Duckling.

Yo Ugly Duckling is good lookin' yo-- they gots skills, some decent beats, and man people be dancin and shit old skool style when I play this shit in muthfuckin' oZlo. Fo' some reason shit wasn't as hott when I was doin a DJ set up in stinky Hellsinki, but the crowd was full of catz that wasn't all that anyway. These fools couldn't tell the difference between Jurassic 5 and Jurassic Park, yo. Bunch of straight up wiggas with know knowlege of how to keep it real. Anyway I'm not about that negative shit no mo.

So if you like your beats all funkified in an old skool fashion, and you like rhymes that be funny, funky, and beastieboy without the annoying nasal thang, than this record is fo you. These fools got some verbalized lyrical skills but they keep em on the downlow for most of the time, but then jump out they skin when they really want to grab yo attention. Bottom line is that y'all know this shiznit is off the heezies up here in the Nordic lands yo. I'm out.