J Ship’s A – Z (with Jonathan Shipley)

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Keane
From East Sussex in the UK they started as a cover band. They played Oasis, U2 and Beatles songs. U2, okay. They’re pretty good. “LEMON!” Oh yeah, U2’s sweet, and sour (“LEMON!”). The Beatles? Well, they’re icons, dude. “Eleanor Rigby” – I dare you to find a finer song. But singing Oasis covers? Ummm…Not good, Keane boys. Oasis is comprised of mental deficients who happened to have found a beat. My respect for you is lost, Keane. Lost forever.

Keb’ Mo’
I don’t know if his name is Keb’ Mo’ or, like Mo’, Keb’. But, no matter, Keb’ Mo’ is a good’ musician’. He was born in Los’ Angeles’ but has a strong base in good’ ol’ Southern music – country, blues, and the’ like’. He’s opened for Jefferson’ Starship’ and Mahavishnu’ Orchestra’. He like’s Robert’ Johnson,” and who can blame him? His latest album is Suitcase issued by Red Ink Records. Give it a listen if you like soul’ folksy’ country’ stuff’ and also like unnecessary’ apostrophes’.

“Kissing the Lipless,” The Shins
It’s a great song off The Shins’ sophomore effort Oh, Inverted World. The album, it’s sold about 400K albums thus far, became more popular after Zach Braff’s movie “Garden State.” I watched the movie with my sister. I already knew who The Shins were because I’m cool like that. My sister, though, said, “Wow! That Shins band is awesome!” On the way home I put in the Oh, Inverted World album, the first song being “Kissing the Lipless.” My sister immediately broke down, cried, sobbed. “What’s the matter?” She retold the sad story of her former boyfriend, Miles Patton, who, on the Fourth of July, tried a prank of holding a Roman Candle in his teeth as it was lit. Poor decision. He’s now lipless. My sister, though he loved him, couldn’t keep going out with him because he was so grotesque, a beast. He said, “Maybe if you kiss me, my love, I’ll return to being the prince you fell in love with.” She kissed the lipless. He remained grotesque. My sister dumped him. My sister says he sells car parts now.

Koudi
Three words, my friend – Yu Xun Fa. Need I say more?

Kraftwerk
The best thing to come out of Germany since…uh, since…hmmm….The best thing to come out of Germany.

Krupa, Gene
He was a drumming superstar LONG before that one-armed dude from Def Leppard. He’s a history maker, too, Krupa is. He was the first to record a tune with a full drum set. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, dead Led Zeppelin guy. It was in 1927 with a jazz group called McKenzie-Coudon Chicagoans, which is also an accountant’s office. Krupa was a matinee idol (take that, Tommy Lee) and played with Benny Goodman, Tommy Dorsey, Cozy Cole and Roy Eldridge. You know who hasn’t played with the likes of Cozy Cole? All you drummers! Krupa kicks your ass!

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