(Find out how this sophisticated archive randomizer actually works)

12/1/ Did you miss Lance Rockaway's review of the new Cypress Hill album? He was in Amsterdam, and no, he wasn't sober.

10/18 "Also, please find me books about droids that don't give off fecal gases." The Corporate Mailbag.

11/24 Did you miss JD Steele's latest sex advice column?

11/19 Ric Befara and Pong Ling with a cult pick album review.

10/25 DJ Snax tells you what's up in the world of hip hop with Lauryn Hill, Goodie Mob, and Black eyed Peas.

10/2 TJ Gamble's Punk Rock fiesta. Short, fast, and out of control.

the Usounds archives are on the way. Complete list of reviews and more. In the meantime check out the picks of the super fresh archive randomizer above.

12.6.98

Celebs Who Hate Usounds

Keanu Reeves hates us ever since Pell Mitenbire patted his ass and asked him if would ever consider starring in a gay porno film.

Neve is still pissed about that interview where Ric Befara called her a "self-important piece of Hollywood dog shit."

Hasselhoff hates us ever since Lance Rockaway questioned him about rumors of silicone penis implants.

Winona hates our guts ever since Javier Luna claimed that he got her drunk and made videos of her and a vibrator.

David Duchovny's lawyers sent us threatening letters after Lance F. Rockaway spilled a cup of piss on him at the doctor's office.

Demi Moore is still seething over those nude photos we published in the early 80's.

while Kirstie Alley is pissed because we still won't publish her nude photos.  Never! Stay away you fucking scientologist stalker.

-the editors@usounds.com

USOUNDS | 12.6.98

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