So, earlier today I was like, fuck you, KFC. If I have to listen to the instrumental parts of Sweet Home Alabama one more time, I will blow my soggy papas fritas brains out all over the men’s room. Not wanting to feel suicidal and frustrated anymore, I ran out to pick up a pawned ipod mini and loaded that fucker with Human Television’s newest album Look at Who You’re Talking To. (Never mind that who happens to be talking to you right now is a steamy pile of mashed potatoes, corn and unidentifiable chicken pieces all covered in gravy and a three cheese blend that resembles diarrhea. But seriously, read some of the Famous Bowl blogs out there. Most will agree I taste a lot better than I look.)
Track one, “I’m Moving On,” has a dark feel that makes me nostalgic for early Yo La Tengo, and also reminds me of this one biscuit I fell in love with named Kelly. But biscuits only stay fresh for so long. And partly because of that, this song somehow manages to take me through a myriad of emotions in less than four minutes. Also, I feel like I can really relate to the layered guitar work on this track since I was born with layers of flavor.
Track two kicks in way more upbeat, so I packed up my shit and went to the beach. I floated around in the ocean during “Mars Red Rust” and “On and On” which are easily the catchiest songs on the album. I was feeling pretty good, and was really glad that I remembered to roll a fatty joint earlier that day. So I got really stoned and thought it was the funniest thing ever to attach a straw and napkin to my bowl that worked as a semi-functional mast and sail. Some asshole on a paddle boat apparently didn’t see me sailing around though and almost wiped me out cold.
Seemed like a good time to head back to shore and listen to the rest of the album. There is not much variation between songs. They are all short and catchy with relatively indecipherable lyrics. However, this young band from Philly will only improve with time and I look forward to the next album. Looking down, I noticed that the beating rays of the sun melted all of my cheese making my other body parts stick together in a freakish conglomeration of food chunks. But instead of getting angry, I just chuckled to myself. All I wanted was to feel good about lunch again. And mission accomplished.