Today USOUNDS brings to you an enchanting conversation with Australian rockers, Wolfmother.
USOUNDS: Hi Myles, Chris, and Andrew. Is there a good story behind your band name? Because we know there is a voluptuous half-naked lady on your website entwined in snakes, and that’s hot.
Wolfmother: The band name came from a recurring dream that we all had when we were 12 where we were being chased by giant lizards through the snow. They were throwing fireballs at us and just as they were about to catch us, the ice broke and we sank to the bottom of the freezing ocean. As we sat on the sea bed slowly drowning the water began to turn into a room filled with dense ferns and palm trees, we realized we were surrounded by 12 wolves, they spoke to us without talking. They took us to a door. Through the door was a large chamber. Seated on a throne at the far wall was the wolf mother. She comforted and fed us, she taught us many things and trained us for war. The lady in the picture is the Sea Witch, she is the evil enemy of the wolves. She has an army of giant lizards. She can summons monsters from out of the ocean.
USOUNDS: Fireballs can sure be a pain in the ass. And the Sea Witch sounds like a real menace, but at least she has a nice rack. How would you describe the new album to tiny African children?
Wolfmother: Telepathically. “It’s acid rock little dudes.”
USOUNDS: Aw, that’s sweet because if anyone loves acid rock, it’s tiny African children. Does water in fact drain counterclockwise in your part of the world? How does that affect you on a deep, personal level?
Wolfmother: We don’t drink or use water in Australia. We never wash, we just drink rum and eat crocodile meat. It’s very masculine.
USOUNDS: You know what they say….water is for pussies and people with rashes, which totally relates to my next question: Many people think of Australians as being rather perverse due to their history of being a penal colony and all… Would you concur with this assumption?
Wolfmother: I’m sorry I’m not very well educated and I don’t speak Spanish. I just like to break stuff.
USOUNDS: Do you go down under a lot?
Wolfmother: The real question is, do i ever go up over and the answer is yes.
USOUNDS: Do you come from a land down under? And if so, is it truly the place where women glow and men plunder?
Wolfmother: Yes, I do come from a land down under. And yes it’s all true, apparently it’s something to do with the ozone layer.
USOUNDS: What would you suggest for a vegan to throw on the barbie?
USOUNDS: What are your classical influences, with Vienna being the capital of the classical world?
Wolfmother: Ramstein, Megadeath, Cannibal Corpse, Napalm Death, Morbid Angel, Gorganzola, Jarlsberg.
USOUNDS: Would you consider opening for Matisyahu?
Wolfmother: Yes we would definitely consider it.
USOUNDS: No, seriously you guys. What if you were bribed with lap dances? What if the dances were performed BY Matisyahu?
Wolfmother: I guess that would add extra incentive to considering it, possibly. It’s an interesting subject really, I’m glad you brought it up.
USOUNDS: I know. I can almost imagine the intensity of his beard in that type of situation. Did filming a music video on the same desert that featured the original Star Trek have any effect on the video? Were band members buoyantly drifting around the dunes in a William Shatnered frenzy trying to beam shit up?
Wolfmother: Yeah Chris got beamed up at one point, well, we couldn’t find him for a while. Some of the crew went missing too, and a trailer.
USOUNDS: As an Australian band who tears ass, what are your feelings regarding the cinematic masterpiece, Rabbit Proof Fence?
Wolfmother: We are pro-fences. Rabbits = bad, fences = good, ass tearing = good?
USOUNDS: How about your feelings on the American blockbuster hit, White Chicks?
Wolfmother: Euphoria, wonderment, sad, happy, amazed, angry.
USOUNDS: I like that scene in White Chicks when the two strippers are struggling with the lamp. And also, the part where Gina decides to take action after her credit card is declined. That practically blew my mind. What are you trying to tell the people of Iraq in your song, “Apple Tree”?
Wolfmother: The lyrics are actually directed towards the plight of the good people in the Democratic Republic of Sao Tome and Principe. Hang in there guys!
USOUNDS: If you could choose anyone to tag along on your tour, regardless of their will, who would it be?
Wolfmother: Kate Bush, to perform interpretative dance routines with a skull and a panther and recite poetry between songs.
USOUNDS: I wouldn’t be too surprised if Kate Bush is somehow related to the Sea Witch. Why do children love to dance?
Wolfmother: Because they haven’t yet learned that self-expression is wrong and individuality is embarrassing. Kids don’t realize that they should look like everyone else and just stand there. They’re stupid.
USOUNDS: Thanks Wolfmother. This has been the most pleasant interview of my life.
Wolfmother: You’re welcome, have a nice day. I need a taco real quick.
USOUNDS: OK, but hopefully you like hot dogs too, because there will be an award-winning stand outside your venue at Chop Suey on Friday in Seattle which is the first stop on your tour. Just stay away from the spicy dog unless you wanna be on the can all night.
Speaking of Wolfmother tour dates:
February 10 – Seattle,WA – Chop Suey
February 11 – San Francisco, CA – Popscene
February 13 – Silver Lake, CA – Spaceland
February 14 – Los Angeles, CA – Cinespace
February 16 – Chicago, IL – The Empty Bottle
February 17 – Toronto, ON – The Drake Hotel
February 19 – Brooklyn, NY – Northsix
February 20 – New York, NY – Mercury Loungs
February 25 – Oxford – The Zodiac
February 26 – Leeds – The Cockpit
February 27 – Nottingham – Rescue Rooms
March 2 – Liverpool – Academy 2
March 3 – Newcastle – Academy Revolution
March 4 – Glasgow – King Tuts
March 5 – Manchester – Roadhouse
March 7 – London – Scalla