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downloads

Moving Units Mp3 Review from Chaz Bartok

Moving Units makes me want to crank the volume in my ‘am and not drive, just sit there and take drugs. Not normal drugs, but some generic drugs that would just come in a giant bag that said DRUGS on them. Once I had enough drugs, I would stand up on the seat of my ‘am and just dance dance dance dance dance to the radio. I may be an acne-scarred 70’s holdover with a wild mane and a belly full of drugs, but I can dance like a Stallion with rollerskates on when it’s my time. And Moving Units makes it my time. So fuck off and dance, punks!

Download Moving Units mp3 at Epitonic

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downloads

Rock on! With Chaz Bartok

What the hell was going on with USOUNDS last week? Soft Rock?! Soft cock is more like it. For those of us who actually rock for real, and not in a way that could ever even remotely be construed as “soft”, this is a sweet and fresh downloadable track for you from one of my closest personal friends, Mr. John Osbourne (known as OZZY to the average fan). Although Ozzy hasn’t been in touch since our night of wildness in Cincy in ’87, I know that he learned a lot from me and my party techniques, and holds me in high esteem.

Crazy Train mp3

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downloads

PleasureBeach mp3 Reviewed by Chaz Bartok

People say I’m old, wasted, passed out in a couch in an alley behind a bar with dried puke on my leather jacket and they’re right, that is me. But at the same time I know my shit and I can kick the shit out of you, so say what you want, punk.

Here’s an mp3 and music video from PleasureBeach (pronounced pleasure, bitch), a band that knows how to rock in the original rocking way, no new-style rocking here, just old skool rocking with organs, guitar solos, snarls and fake (except real) english accents.

Click Here for PleasureBeach mp3 and music video

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downloads

The Pattern mp3 review by Chaz Bartok

It was a sunny day so you know I had the T-top busted wide open. Glorious sunlight dappled my ‘am’s built in bong as I took a mighty puff and exhaled. Fuck yeah, life was good and I didn’t care who knew it.

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downloads

T Rex Real Audio

You know what you need when you’re feelin’ low? A couple ounces, a couple gallons, a souped-up ‘Am with a built-in bong and some T-Rex. That’s all you need, man, to get it on. Listen to T-Rex all day long here.

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downloads

The Walkmen Mp3s

I can remember back as far as ’95 on good days, and I remember one DC summer that year, cruising in my ‘am on Wisconsin Avenue, blasting Jonathan Fire*Eater to attract all the honeys that patrolled the streets on Sundays. Well that band is long gone but from the ashes come the Walkmen, and let me tell you tonight I have a couple of cigars, some Steel Reserve, and a night of sensational ‘am crusin planned with their album blasting the custom hi-fi. Damn if that ain’t a fine American evening. For all you internet losers, here are some mp3s from The Walkmen official site.

Categories
food and drink

Chaz Bartok’s Beer of the Month: Czechvar: King of Lagers

The other day a ladyfriend, red with fury, screamed at me: “Do you really think life is all about long hair, hard rock, trans ‘ams, and beer?!” I paused for a second in deep thought, then threw back my mane, took a swig of my brew, pressed play, and left her in a cloud of dust and guitar wails as my ‘am squealed its way across the parking lot and on to the open road.